Take Care of Yourself

Like a good shoe, my coaching is not an off-the-shelf fit for everyone, and I only end up working with about half the clients who initially reach out for coaching or workshops. Once we determine the shoe “fits,” it’s not a done deal. We continue partnering together to make the experience work for each individual. Just like leather (and many materials, and relationships!), coaching needs to adapt to the individual. If it doesn’t “fit” at any point, it’s also in our coaching agreement that we can end the relationship.

Those of you who have been my client in ongoing coaching sessions know that I have a pretty lengthy, 50-question questionnaire to kick-off the journey and tons of tools, exercises, and resources to propose along the way. The reflective questions are all optional and they support me to craft a tailor-made coaching process. We determine what a successful coaching engagement looks like, what outcomes would be meaningful, and what we’ll do if the process gets off track. We also check in periodically on the goals and check out at the end of the journey.

I’d love to promise miracles and tell every client that if they work with me they’ll experience guaranteed results overnight… but… I can’t promise that. Anyone – especially a coach – selling a quick-fix is probably… well, suspect.

What I can promise is that over time, I’ll support you to reach your desired results, and you’ll very likely get there. These before and after questionnaires give me the numbers to back it up. Almost all of my clients experience a reduction in stress and an increase in their quality of life from the start of coaching to the end of their engagement.

• On average, &joy Coaching clients see an 8% improvement in their quality of life during coaching, with 86% of clients maintaining or improving their quality of life in coaching.
• Two-thirds of clients who rated their stress above 7 out of 10 reduced their stress by 20%, with the average reduction in stress for all clients being ~12%, from 6.6 to 5.8 out of 10.

Yes, this is biased to my clients’ self-perception and self-reporting, and I’m also not (yet) asking folks to report the long-term impact of coaching. (Feel free to reach out if you’re in this dataset and would like to update me!). That said, the average timespan of this dataset is around 12 weeks (or 3 months). The numbers are also (a) consistent and (b) rather convincing that coaching can likely both improve your quality of life and reduce your stress.

I often remind others (and myself) that sustainable change happens gradually. Small steps taken every day can move us miles.

This isn’t a suggestion that everyone feeling stressed, looking for calm, or seeking some change needs to work with me.

Rather, I’m thinking about the fact that it’s October. It’s been 6 months since we celebrated my alternative start of the year on April Fools Day, and we’re entering the seasons of harvest and hibernation. If you had 3 months to focus on improving your quality of life and/or decreasing your stress (at the holidays? I do like a challenge!), what would you desire? It’s a great question for me, as I wrap up 3 months of physical therapy and think about how I can continue to build strength.

Now, here’s my gift for you: you do have 3 months. You have 6 months. You have a lifetime ahead of you, and if something feels like it’s off course, you’re going to be the one to get it back on track. You’re going to decide when to start, too. While sustainable change happens gradually, change we desire rarely happens unless we initiate it.

The classic reminder is to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others, and my signature goodbye in most coaching sessions is “take care.” That’s not an accident. I want you to take care of yourself. If you’re not taking care, and if you’re not feeling cared for, I want to support you to change that.

Somebody has to take the first step, and most likely, that somebody has to be you.

---

And What Else?

Questions that might help you discover your own insights, in the format of the And What Else? Coaching Card Deck, inspired by the category Empower Action:

Explore the big picture with the main question:
What changes in your life might reduce your stress and/or increase your quality of life?
Center: What would you like less/more of?
Shift: What’s the connection between the changes you want and taking care of yourself?
Evolve: What else could you initiate in the next three months? Today?

Consider taking a screenshot and using these questions as journaling prompts, as a discussion over a meal with a partner or colleague, or bringing them into a coaching conversation.

In joy,
Stephen